Don’t lose yourself

To my mothers and fathers
Sons and daughters
Brothers and sisters
Don’t lose yourself

I am telling you this because I did
Day after day an inner rage festered at my core
Chip chipping away at my mental
Mentally incapable of comprehending something so mental

It consumed me
Controlled me

My tongue ready to cut anyone who spoke ignorance about us
I was on standby
Push my button and I’d see red
Colour
What they say they don’t see
Yet continue to brutalize those who look like me

So, I’d wait for someone to speak out of line
Say something dumb
And I would deconstruct their attempt to justify the unjustifiable
Truth be told I lost myself
I could no longer see the good
Myself before I woke was locked up inside

It consumed me
Controlled me

Have you ever felt physical pain for someone else’s fate?
Someone’s misfortune
Your stomach in knots with every video posted, shared and retweeted
Each hashtag fuelled a fire within

It consumed me
Controlled me

Police officers with blood on their hands were applauded, rewarded, given paid leave
Whilst mothers and fathers grieve the death of their child, they lovingly conceived
Hard to believe
Or is it?
Because when they see those who look like me
Who do they actually see?

They see a black male looking suspicious
They see a black female acting vicious
They see an armed black man running away
“Permission to shoot, sergeant ?”

*BANG*

I see a son
I see a daughter
I see an unarmed black boy taking his last breath

So, do you see how this rage festered within me
Racial profiling is a poisonous disease
Used by those who endorse White supremacy
They’ve mastered the art of stealing the joy from

Mothers and fathers
Sons and daughters
Brothers and sisters

The joy of life separate from the tax of being black
Separate from oppression
Suppression
Depression
Separate from their racism
Do you see what I am saying here?
They stole the joy that was meant for us

My only outlet was the tears that would roll down my cheek
But those tears were for me
I hated that I couldn’t fix a problem that has been around before I came to be
Stuck in a state of rage and anger I sank into a dark hole
And there I sat for my many nights
Crying for us as a people
Crying because they don’t see us as people

My mother saved me
She told me liberation from their brutality is something we all wish
But hear this
Your struggle
It doesn’t define you
Remember joy, happiness and love
Keep them close
Don’t fall down this rabbit hole of disarray
On your knees defeated is where they want you to stay

So, hear me when I say
To my mothers and fathers
Sons and daughters
Brothers and sisters
Don’t lose yourself

Grow bigger than they imagined
Strive harder than they ever thought you could
Emancipate yourself from their perception of you
Be obnoxiously you

Never shrink to their limitation
Go forth and succeed
For your success is mine and mine yours
And any step you take, we all take